Been reflecting a lot lately

Been chatting with a friend lately and I thought I had been maybe a little bit nostalgic lately but she brought up maybe a bit more reflective instead of nostalgic ...either which way many changes are coming.  I really don't like the person I've become and I feel I need to change.  I don't know when the words WELCOME MAT appeared on my forehead but they're going to be removed.  I'm in a program where I'm able to be back on my meds through a low cost to free program.  And when I'm on one of the meds some people don't like who I am because the PC filter does get turned off very easily.  Know what oh well live deal.  I don't have to worry with being PC anymore I'm not a military spouse anymore.  I just wish I could get into a similar program for pain management. 

I've taken a lot of crap over the years for being a very open and outward Pagan.  People automatically assume that I don't know God.  I was raised in a Christian home, Yes I know who God is.  Growing up I found that Christianity didn't make me whole.  I saw a lot of hypocrisy, back stabbing and 2 facedness.  Yes it is everywhere its in every religion, spiritual belief, spiritual background ETC.  Its there no matter how you slice it.  Being Pagan is who I am, its in my DNA.  I am Blackfoot I'm very proud to be Blackfoot.  I am Native.  My Native Ancestors didn't practice Christianity they were Pagan they worshiped the Great Spirit and Mother Earth.  I am Irish and Scottish which makes me Celtic in turn coming from a Druid Ancestry.  They were Pagan.  They worshiped the wheel of the year, the moon, the earth, the crops, garden magic, green magic ...they were not evil beings that made sacrifices.  They celebrated life.  They drank, they ate, they were merry.  I'm part Russian and Swedish ...the Great Norse Warriors and hunters, were not much different from the Druids or the American Natives.  They had a strong family structure that worshiped the wheel of the year as well, they had great festivals.  It was the Romans that came through and said that my Ancestors had to change because they didn't like how we were because they found us a threat.  We were the midwives, the hunters, the farmers, the sheep herders and the herbalists accused of black magic that were hanged and burned.  

Somewhere along the way America or Society as a whole has lost family value and traditions.   when you were growing up or your parents were growing up they had family Sunday dinners together.  Large family Sunday dinners and it was a big major deal.  Everyone went to church together, took care of grocery shopping or whatever shopping that had to be done for the week then came home dinner was cooked TOGETHER and everyone ate together.  Who does this anymore??? Not many families.  I'm Pagan and this is a family value I miss, I feel that everyone needs to do this to be connected with their family.  Maybe this is part of what is wrong with our children today.  I remember visiting my grand parents and dinners together.  Great Grandma, grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, cousins, aunt, uncle whoever was around.  We all sat around the table and told stories and caught up.  Where is that today???  No drama, just love and peace.  


This is my promise to myself, my faith, my family and my husband ...By the first day of Summer we will enact 1 day a week as a family dinner night where we all get together and cook a fest together, eat together and tell tales together as our elders used to.  We will put our garden in together while we are doing this we will do this as our ancestors and elders did.  We will work together as a whole.  More and more of our meals will be fresh and from scratch less less from a box or can.  Frozen meals will be those that I froze.  This is to make it better for myself, my family and for the future of my family.  We've lost connection with who we once were and I'm going to get that connection back.  


For those of you that want to know what we will be attempting to be growing or want to grow here is the list
blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, rhubarb, peach trees, apple trees, walnut trees, pecan trees, cherry trees, pear trees (maybe), asparagus, carrots, tomatoes (beef steak or better boys and romas), green bell peppers, red bell peppers, serrono peppers, poblano peppers, onions, green onions, (yes salsas in our future), zucchini, yellow squash, butternut squash, pickling cukes, cukes, ...there is also a list of herbs.  If it means plant a tree a week as we can afford then so be it but that is the list we have and I think there might be more not sure right now.